Week 1 2026
First week of 2026 with some new endeavors and accountability
I started blogging here about nearly two-ish years ago with grandiose plans of practicing my writing. Two years later I have nothing to really show for it.
I'm going to be 37 this year and I'm feeling more directionless than ever. I haven't had any goals in forever. And I can't remember the last time I created any goals for myself.
For the last ten years I've been just working the same job and through that job and income I've been able to accomplish some big goals such as acquiring (but still paying off) a home. I've gotten married back in September of 2023, and now two years later we still don't have a child.
It's been a love and hate relationship with this child-less life concept. I know that it take an incredible amount of work that I'm not use to and that I'm not too excited about the exhaustion that takes place for the first 10 years of raising a child. At the same time, this freedom has afforded me some wonderful experiences and carefree living. It hasn't been healthy of me to focus on this at all and I really should just be focusing on myself and my own personal development rather than constantly be depressed about not having a child.
2025 was the year I decided to take my mental health more seriously. I started taking my ADHD medications more regularly, and did my very best to listen and take action on every advice that my therapists told me to follow. I have seriously underestimated the amount of effort needed to be proactive about being on top of the advice, being mindful about when I'm in a negative space and how to get out of it, and using the tools that were given to me to be a better person. Every month there's a couple days where I do really well and then I back slide for the rest of the week; its a constant feeling of taking one step forward and two steps back.
Today I frustratingly sat down in solitude, medicated and caffeinated, and wrote down a list of things I wanted to do out in 2026.
1.) Save 20-30 grand in cash.
- This comes out to $1600 to $2500 dollars saved a month. Sorta feasible? I have to live incredibly frugally and would have to cut out a lot of dining out.
2.) Make an effort to do something creative
- That's where this comes in to play, writing again, and I hope to write at least once a week about how I'm feeling and where I'm going in life. Creative or not, at least its something I can do for myself that I can get semi lost in.
3.) Take Kathleen out at least once a month
- I'd like to have something for the both of us to look forward to, instead of spending week after week just being cooped up doing the same routine shit that we've been doing for the last two years. I have higher standards than her but shes okay with going on short outdoor walks and windowshopping. I want our dates to be as stimulating and rewarding as possible.
4.) Stay active as much as I can
- Exercise regularly, keep to a minimum of exercising 3x a week, typically 40 minutes of elevated heart rate a session.
5.) Stick to regular schedules of planning my week, practicing gratitude, writing down tasks that need to be done outside of work.
- These have been the tools that my therapists have been trying to get me to stay on top of. These things will ultimately help me feel like progress is being done. If I can manage to keep on top of these I think I would probably feel better about where my life is going.
6.) Start a hobby that I can see myself progress in
- this has been a struggle for a long time – attempting to find something that's reasonably priced that will also provide me a sense of fulfillment. I need to rewire my brain and tell myself this is something that doesn't have to MAKE me money in the future, it just needs to be something that I should be proud of and challenging enough to make something out of it.
Now that I've listed some of these goals...How do I keep myself accountable? Pure guilt? Pay someone to check on me? I'm not sure but the punishment inflicted should put me into a position to stay aligned with these goals. I'll be adding little check boxes in my schedule to check off that I have performed them.
Hopefully I can stick to these to the best of my ability from 2026 and beyond. I already know it will be difficult but if it was easy...everyone would be be doing it right? Cheers.